When you’re ravenous, that gnawing hunger deep in the pit of your bowel, you just don’t care what it is you stuff down your gullet. You’ve been there, everyone has. You’ve gone hours, maybe even days without a satisfying morsel to suck down and now, your stomach demands to be fed. That’s where this little tale finds me. Waiting for my supper.
It has been literally days since I’ve ate. I don’t mean literally in the valley-girl-OMG-literally way either, I mean it’s been DAYS since I’ve been fed. And I wouldn’t even term what I had then anything close to well-fed. It was pretty much a greasy bag of double quarter pounders washed down with a rotten V8. But, hey, you know, beggars can’t be choosers right? I take what I can get when I can get it.
It seems in this fast-food, social media, want-want-want world, getting anything of real substance just isn’t in the cards. People want what they want when they want it. I think that takes a lot of the elegance out of life, out of our food, don’t you? If I can press a button and instantly receive something… how can I be sure the quality of it? I can’t. Too many people would rather press “Like” and get their dopamine, like birds in a box, pressing a lever and getting a pellet. Well, that’s not me. I’m not a button pusher. I want substance, flavor, exquisite décor, fine china and silver cutlery. I want the… ambiance that tells me that what I am about to sink my teeth into, is going to give me the pleasure of a life time.
Sure, call me a foodie, I’ve heard it before. Picky, finicky, use all those flavorful words to degrade my tastes. I will tell you one thing, in the end, I savor every last bit, every morsel, every drop. So you enjoy your fast-food world, with your instant microwaves and ramen noodles by the cup. I’d rather sink my teeth into something better.
And here’s my dinner, right on time. A tall, dark, impeccably dressed young man in an Italian suit, shining from the tips of his shoes to the sparkle of youth in his eyes. When you’ve lived as long as I have you learn to savor the moment, something this young man will never understand… when I’m done with him. Cheerio! He’s headed for the parking garage, I’m sure we’ll find a nice place to lay out a spread there.
-Leonard the Foodie Vampire